Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
