Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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