READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize