I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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