I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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