I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize