is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
