He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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