I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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