four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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