he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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