idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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