i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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