it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Randomize
