Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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