If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize