I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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