I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
