we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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