Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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