how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
