Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize