I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
