So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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