He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
