just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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