sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
