I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
