never play flip cup with pint glasses
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
