He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
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good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...