I heard we made out
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I want is dick and wine.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.