4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.