I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.