i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
