question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
