im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
