Don't you send me to vm
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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