so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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