First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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