Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
