i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
