We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
