do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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