im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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