She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
