I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
