I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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