My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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