I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
