I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
