Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
