It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize