weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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