i permit you to call me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
