Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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