It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
