Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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