this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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