i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
